Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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