No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
