At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
