We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
