i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
