Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she peed on how many people?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
