i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
