ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
