morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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