woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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