Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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