my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
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So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
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I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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