As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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