I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
