If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
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it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
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I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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