why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
