I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I supernannyed him into submission
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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