I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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