the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
