I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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