So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
