We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
