My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
