Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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