Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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