I heard we made out
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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