I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
