You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
