finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
