What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you traded sex for a burrito?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize