Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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