dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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