im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
