When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
