Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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