I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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