A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
