just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.