There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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