i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I want her autograph on my taint
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
