2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
