You're so nebulous sometimes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
