Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Found the puke drawer
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
