omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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