I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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