That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
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I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
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We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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