i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
