first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
