I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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