Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize