Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
