I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
