He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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