YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
