Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We are two peas in an std pod
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
